www.drummer.com / IntlDrmrboy2000@aol.com
Contests, schmontests.
What good are they anyway? What kind of leaders do they produce? Whatís the use
of so many titles?
Weíve
all heard it. And weíre guilty of saying it ourselves. When we see all those
title vests, medals and sashes coming toward us like an
arts-and-crafts-science-project-gone-mad, havenít we all rolled our eyes just
once?
But
contests are inherently good: like caffeine, when used in moderation,
pushing us leatherfolk to work harder, to move faster, and to get more done.
Since sex devours much of our time, a title can be exactly the kind of ìpushî
many of us need to get off our asses ñ and use our asses for something
different.
So
what we need ñ as boys ñ is more and more boys to come forth and take
leadership roles. In this era of
rebuilding and re-establishing tradition, deemed the ìnew guardî by many
leatherfolk, we need it more than ever. We are part of a new leather nation with
real hope of survival, and we cannot let down the next generation that will
come after us.
So
here, plainly, is some advice from a regular leather boy, a drummer boy, who
set out on a path to DRUMMER hoping for just a taste of something sweet, but
was humbled with the whole pieÖ
WHY,
WHY, WHY?
Itís the first question you should ask yourself: why? Why are you entering this contest to begin with? The answer should be in your gut, actually. Along with those butterflies, there should be a fire inside you, something driving you other than reckless passion. Is it because youíre an exhibitionist? Is it because you have a platform? Is it because youíre a natural leader? If itís just a title youíre after, youíre in it for the wrong reasons. Youíll need a story, your own story, to go along with that title.
Every person has something special to offer, but do you know what you have? Youíd better know what youíre reaching for before you hand it out. Just know. And the most important thing of all is to remember that whatever it is you have to offer, you can still offer it whether you walk away with the sash gear or not. You may even find yourself less burdened without all that cumbersome, flashy equipment. Besides, itís hard to pack.
A
title is really just a commitment to the leather community, your commitment
to stay involved, to carry the spirit, and to build a stronger leather nation
by working from person to person. Are
you willing to make that commitment?
Hereís a clue: A true leader has made that commitment long before the
end of the contest. A title simply caps off a great story. Is the story yours?
Youíve
made up your mind, you know your reasons.
Now you have to consult with your DADDY or SIR ñ if you have one. Consider the best possible scenario: you go
all the way to the top and win a monstrous sash and the awesome responsibility
that goes with it. How would this affect your relationship? What kind of strain can you both endure? If
you win a title, suddenly your DADDY, SIR, or (worse!) your MASTER must take a
backseat role. The two of Y/you need to consider this very seriously. Iím
telling you ñ very seriously, this is a huge thing. Iíve heard that it has
destroyed relationships. My own DADDY and i had to re-evaluate and re-configure
our own protocol as i made my own DRUMMER journey.
On
the other hand, if your relationship is strong and healthy, chances are your
DADDY or SIR will be unconditionally supportive, showering you with love and
encouragement. The way it should be. He will beam with pride. And thereís nothing more beautiful than a
beaming, proud DADDY! Just make certain you continue to show Him the respect he
deserves. Once you make that effort to put Him first, everything will fall into
place.
(This is once you win your contest; it may also apply to your counterpart SIR during any competition; that is, a SIR who youíve taken it upon yourself to assist during competition.)
Throughout
your journey, you may have several ìtitle SIRSî. Itís an interesting relationship, really. Youíre not collared to
him, youíre not bound by love or sex, but everything you do reflects on Him and
vice versa. Your title SIR comes second only to DADDY. All matters of protocol apply with Him.
Chances are, Heíll treat you as his equal. But look after Him, quietly and
gracefully, making certain He shines inside and out without you stumbling all
over yourself to do so. Nothing is worse than a clumsy boy always diving at
someoneís boots. Grace, have grace!
From
time to time, during or long after the contest, you may discover yourself in
the awkward position of having to defend your title SIR. Do it, no matter what
your opinions or objections. What kind of boy are you if you cannot hoist your
title SIR up on a pedestal? He may not
ever truly deserve it like your DADDY or actual SIR, but youíll be the
better person for doing it. He must look good ñ in order for you to look good ñ
and you must see to that. You should
never speak ill of Him, and rather always point out His strong, healthy
attributes when conversation calls for it.
Finally,
a good boy always has ñ but is not burdened down with ñ the five bare
necessities for any bar or social setting: a lighter, a quick-shine rag, an ink
pen, altoids, and a small flashlight (you would not believe how helpful a
penlight can be in a dark bar). Youíll
want to have a more elaborate set-up during actual competition (thatís an
article in itself!), but these five things will get you and your title SIR by
in social settings gracefully and impressively to others.
Once in competition, always look the judges in the eye, capture them, treat
each of them as you would your SIR, and you will do well. When in interview,
give them your best ìboy eyes and smile.î
Youíre in control. When on stage, ignore the audience. The judges are
your audience. The judges won't notice if you don't look at the
audience, but they WILL notice if you don't look at them.
When you present yourself to the judges in
interview, treat it as though you are applying for a job. Iím not talking ìshirt and tie,î but like
any job interview, youíre supposed to dress the part. Usually, the judges want
your casual leatherboy image: maybe a boy cap, jeans and a t-shirt (your
sponsor's or bar's), maybe leather boy shorts instead of jeans, definitely your
boots. A club vest, if you wear one regularly. If youíve been collared,
your only choice is to wear your collar with pride. But you CANNOT simply wear
one for ìdecoration.î Some newer boys still seem to think collars are necklaces.
EGAD! Basically, this is the way you would dress at your local leather bar in
the middle of the day for a barbecue. Save your chaps and harnesses and
other gear for the contest or a sex scene later.
Thereís also the question of kneeling that you
will wrestle with (i know i did!). What do you do? Do you stand, do you kneel,
or do you take the seat the judges will offer you? Itís probably good advice to
do what is comfortable. If youíre not comfortable kneeling, youíll look
uncomfortable kneeling. Itís that simple. Your objective in interview is to
appear as comfortable as possible, thereby effectively putting the judges at
ease as well, so avoid unnecessary fidgeting. (Guess what? The judges are
nervous, too!)
CRAMMING
IS FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
Youíll
want to do well in your interview ñ duh ñ but the idea of ìmasteringî your
interview is a contradiction in terms.
You need to master being yourself, if you canít do that, youíre
sunk.
This isnít something you can cram for, you
shouldnít be trying to learn empty information frantically as if for a test.
The judges won't "quiz" you on who-won-which-title-when. Rather, they want to hear your spirit, your
understanding of our leather tribe and nation, your personal and sexual
interests. So focus on what you want to
say about the individuals who have mentored you, influenced you, or been your
role models. Laugh with the judges, smile, be serious all at the same time. If
the judges ask a question you don't know the answer to, simply tell them you
don't know the answer ñ you might even ask them for the answer. They'll
appreciate your honesty and willingness to learn rather than painfully watching
you squirm with meaningless, senseless rhetoric.
So in a nutshell, be yourself. They'll know if
you're trying to be someone else. Be
sure that whatever you say itís in your own words. If it sounds likes you're reciting, the judges will nail you.
Speak from your heart, as it comes to you. Youíll know when itís
right. Remember: what works for one
person doesn't work for every person. We are self-defining, as boys. Define
yourself. Tell them who you are. Your answer will be right every time.
FANTASY
AND FOOTWORK
If you get the chance to perform your own
fantasy, or if youíre helping your title SIR with His, make certain the fantasy
is based in sex and not comedy. Too often at the expense of the ìsexual
fantasy,î leatherfolk will break for cheap laughs. Frankly, i still believe
itís quite important to stay true to why we have ìfantasiesî in competition to
begin with: itís an expression of our sexuality. Do you go for the laughs in
the middle of a real scene? Hopefully
not. Donít do it in competition either.
A lot of boys will be asked to perform their own
fantasies during local or even regional contests, but at this precise moment in
time (March 3, 2001), the drummerboys will not be performing their fantasies at
the DRUMMER finals in Florida. Long
ago, at the inception of the Drummerboy contest back in 1990, the boys at least
performed fantasies during the finals, but not for scoring purposes. Weíre working on changing this (big grin).
During leather image and especially during the
physique/skin category, itís important to behave like a leatherman even as a
boy. No dancing or goofy movement on stage. For physique, act as though you
just removed your clothes before a sex scene, seduce the judges with your eyes
only, and smile, your body will do the rest. Walk comfortably, and slowly,
don't rush. Donít do anything overtly distracting, like
flailing your arms about as if waving off a mosquito. Be calm. Be cool. Be confident. Donít be cocky. Just give
the judges your best ìboy eyes,î just as you would your DADDY. Did i mention smile? i meant to say that over and over. Thereís an old saying iíve used for
years: ìIf you see someone without a
smile ñ give him one of yours!î So be
very generous. Smiling is free.
Finally, the judges will want you to bend over. Groan.
This is something that no matter how uncomfortable you are doing it, youíre
going to have to do it. Fortunately, boys are not the only ones reduced to
this. Even the biggest, meanest, most foreboding Leathermen in competition have
been asked to bend over for the judges.
Personally, i think itís a test in humiliation and endurance. If you can
stand this, you can stand anything during your title year. So bend over, reach
for your ankles, and showíem your asses, boys!
EAT
THE MICROPHONE LIKE A BIG COCK
If it were a big monstrous cock, youíd have it so far down your throat
weíd hear your stomach acids bubbling. Why are we so afraid of this phallic
instrument on stage? There is nothing worse than watching a contestant give his
speech as though the sound is turned off.
So eat the mic, and project. Half the battle is being heard. What you
have to say is actually secondary.
Itís important to stay away from delivering
overtly rehearsed speeches. Speak from your heart. Have an outline of the
message you want to get across, but nothing more. A pre-written, word-for-word speech will slay you on the spot. Be
prepared to talk about things or feelings that just happened off-stage. The judges will appreciate your spontaneity
above your memorization skills. Egad.
Also, before you answer any on-stage question, or
whenever you take the mic for the first time, tell the judges your name and
contestant number or title (ìThank you ñ my name is boy richie, and i'm
contestant number 8, Southwest Drummerboy... ")
Itís always polite to suppose not everyone knows or remembers you. If you walk on stage ñ or into any social
setting for that matter ñ itís disastrous and arrogant to assume everyone knows
who you are. Chances are, they donít.
SERVITUDE
OR ATTITUDE?
Thereís a big difference. Frankly, i have very unboylike issues with
absolute servitude. Believe you me, i have discovered ñ painfully ñ that i am
not submissive. But i do identify with being a boy, having boy spirit, having a
boyís interest at heart. WE ARE NOT SLAVES.
We are Leathermen just like our SIRS, but weíre at the beginning of
our journey (some of us stay boys forever, which is perfectly alright).
However, our attitudes must be cheerful, considerate, helpful, eager, and
conscientious. Plainly, i disagree strongly with boys who trip over themselves
to help a SIR. Itís clumsy. But if you
maintain a healthy attitude (ìSIR, i am available to assist you, let me know
what i can doî), your SIR will respect and appreciate your availability and
your understanding that sometimes being too helpful is messy, that
sometimes staying out of His way is best, that being close-by within an earís
distance is perfect. When He truly needs you, youíll know it. Being at His beck and call ñ but off to the
side ñ is what Heís really interested in. Jumping at a SIRís boots like a cat
on a mouse is a trap many boys fall into.
Be graceful about it. The judges will notice, so donít fret.
PLAYING
WELL WITH OTHER BOYS
This is pretty darn important. So iím saving it
for last. If we canít get along with one another, then whatís the point? Make
sure you befriend your fellow boys, and i do mean sincerely. Remember: our SIRS
and DADDIES and MASTERS need us. No where is it written that we are
incapable of taking care of ourselves, of each other, that we need
slaves looking after us. And why
is that? Because, frankly, we have our shit together. Thatís why weíre
able to help our SIRS as much as we do.
So donít shatter the myth. If
you see a boy whoís having trouble, be sure to lend him a hand, flash him a
smile, and your generosity will return to you tenfold.
So good luck, and i hope to see more and more boys
coming out of the woodwork and stepping into the leadership roles they deserve!
Leather, Love, rub a dub,
boy richie
International Drummerboy 2000-01